What does it mean to cleanse your relationships? Maybe you’ve tried to “cleanse” your body of toxins or your house from clutter but you might not realize that your relationships need some clean up too. Have you been clinging to old relationships that no longer work out of fear? How often have you felt that you’ve outgrown a friend, intimate partner or a job but were desperately afraid to leave them? Nurturing yourself with these kinds of relationships is no different than feeding your body Twinkies instead of nutritious broccoli. To cleanse your psychological house, start slowly. Perhaps meet with a negative friend less often or TRY ON THE IDEA of moving on from a tired intimate relationship that is slowly fading. Before doing anything, just IMAGINE what it would be like to be without this person or even to be with someone who treated you better or understood you more. IMAGINING change is the first step towards making it happen. Clearing out the clutter from your life takes time, patience, risk and a lot of compassion. So, do it gingerly and in steps. In cases where your relationships have become addictive, withdrawing from them can feel ominous. What will you substitute in their place? How will you fill your free time…with more toxic people or more healthy connections? The choice is yours. This is not a simple task. But just like a food cleanse, if you get through the horrible cravings, difficult emotions that arise and stick with the detox, you will awaken to huge changes in your mood, emotions, outlook and your life. This is hard to do alone so I am here to help if you are ready to take action. If you found this helpful, please feel free to e.mail me at nanlcsw@gmail.com or call me to schedule an appointment at 847.491.1111. Feel free to offer my article to others. I offer this as a free service to promote relational healing. Dont hesitate to offer my article to others. I offer this as a free service to promote relational healing.

If this title caught your eye, you may be one of the 15 to 20% of the population who experiences life with heightened awareness and gets overwhelmed easily. You may get into a car and insist that the music be turned down and the sunroof be closed back up. Perhaps perfumes, noises and strong voices are highly distracting and even disturbing. If this is you, you might have been told much of your life that you were too sensitive and that you need to chill out. Well you are not alone or weird but you are definitely in the minority. The good news is that many books and workbooks have been written to help you understand and navigate your chronically overstimulated self. Sometimes just reading Elaine Aaron’s, The HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON can make you feel less alone. The bad news: you probably have a lot of shame about being so sensitive because you are different. Once you learn how to accept and appreciate your sensitivity, though, it can become your greatest gift. How? Sensitive people are notoriously creative, intuitive, insightful and introspective which, I think, makes them interesting and unique. I mean, really. Who would you rather call with a problem? A friend who means well but isn’t much help, or your friend who knows what to say, how to say it and has a clear and thoughtful solution. HSP’s are an asset to the world of business, art, medicine, psychology, politics, science and more and usually are highly empathetic so they make good friends. So whether you are an artist, a musician, a writer or just a really empathetic person, realize that you are very blessed, not cursed and once you learn to manage your sensitivity through asking for what you need and knowing who is safe for you, life becomes so much easier and even a lot of fun.
If you found this helpful, please e.mail me or call me at 847.491.1111 to schedule an appointment. Feel free to offer my article to others. I do this as a free service to promote relational healing. Feel free to offer my article to others. I do this as a free service to promote relational healing.

What is premarital counseling? Whether you are single and in a serious relationship or engaged and awaiting your wedding day, premarital counseling can help you navigate the exciting yet sometimes choppy waters of relationships. Oftentimes, couples feel like they keep doing the same emotional dance over and over but are unsure how to stop it. For example, maybe one of you tends to be more messy and the other one loves to clean. Or, one of you doesn’t feel appreciated by your partner and your partner doesn’t understand why that is so important. One of you may need more closeness and connection and the other one may crave more space. These are all common issues that couples find themselves wading through yet without some kind of perspective and tools, these issues can sometimes devolve into stalemate or separation. Frequently, couples are well-matched but just don’t know how to work through their differences and, sometimes premarital counseling can save a good relationship from breaking up. You will learn first how to identify negative patterns that aren’t working for you and help teach you fair fighting. And, premarital counseling can shift you both out of anger and into a more accepting space for yourself and your partner. Win lose can become win/win with a little help. And, even if there isn’t an upcoming wedding, premarital counseling can help prevent you from making the same mistakes over and over again in other relationships. While everyone is taught how to drive a car, no one is formally prepared to enter the world of relationships. And, if you grew up in a family where relationships were full of shame and anger you might feel that yelling and winning in an argument are good solutions. They’re not and premarital counseling can teach you how to get to a more loving space. If you found this helpful, feel free to e.mail me at:nanlcsw@gmail.com or call to set up a premarital counseling session today at 847.491.1111. Don’t hesitate to offer my article to others. I do this as a free service to promote relational healing.

Are you a victim or survivor? Some weeks ago, as I was listening to the radio, I heard a doctor talking about people “being prayed upon” perhaps related to surgery or a medical procedure. Interesting choice of words, I thought, change one letter and you have “preyed upon.” PREYED upon or PRAYED upon. The words sound the same but suggest extreme positions regarding how you live your life. For example, those who feel preyed upon often consider themselves victims and experience feelings of anxiety, depression, dread, despair and an overall sense of powerlessness. If you remember the Peanuts cartoon character, Charlie Brown, you understand the “victim” mentality. Charlie always felt like there was a black cloud over him. “Prayed Upon,” on the other hand, conjures images of some force outside of you that is with you, watching over you and helping you with the outcome of a situation. People who feel prayed upon generally feel more hopeful about their life and are more optimistic which is considered a survivor mentality. Which one are you? If something bad happens do you feel like a helpless victim or a survivor who can’t wait for the opportunity to rise above it? Most if not all people who struggle with depression feel like victims BUT OFTEN THE MINUTE THEY START THINKING AS A SURVIVOR, THEIR MOOD SHIFTS AND THEIR LIFE LIFTS. I learned in Hypnotherapy (Hypnosis) Training that whatever you focus on increases. Think about what YOU choose to focus on—how frustrated you feel that you don’t have enough OR how incredibly grateful you feel for all that you have. When you believe in a higher consciousness and allow that force to pray upon you, you might just feel a lot less preyed upon. If you found this helpful , feel free to e.mail me at: nanlcsw@gmail.com or call me at 847.491.1111. I will help you become a survivor. Feel free to offer my article to others. I do this as a free service to promote relational healing.