Couples Counseling Works
If you have tried couples counseling and it didn’t work, this could be the result of many factors. Perhaps one of you wasn’t really interested in staying together or, maybe, you or your partner were having an affair at the time. In either case, no therapist can help you unless you are 100% committed to healing your relationship and being honest. Or, maybe , it didn’t work because of the therapist. If you didn’t feel a strong and safe connection with your couples therapist, no real work can get accomplished. Find a person who thinks like you and makes sense to you. We all crave understanding and emotional attunement from a therapist. And just like it took some time to find your partner, it may take a while to find a good couples therapist. Add to that the reality that many couples therapists had little marriage or relationship counseling courses in graduate school so we offered tools or homework which barely made headway especially with couples who had been struggling for years. Recently, I began training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and have been amazed by the results. This mode of therapy encourages each spouse to share their needs and vulnerabilities to create a deeper and more empathic connection that lasts. Over and over again, I have seen couples who, for years, had felt both lonely and defensive move into a caring and compassionate love. And, once their partner learns how to become a safe emotional listener, the couple is on their way to a happier relationship. So, give couples counseling another shot. A safe and compassionate marriage is available to anyone who is willing to do the work.
If you found this blog helpful please don’t hesitate to call me at :847.491.1111 to schedule an appointment or e.mail me at: nanlcsw@nancysimontherapy.com. Feel free to pass this on to anyone whom it might help. I am passionate about helping others with relationship issues.